Self Examination
Part 1: An Introduction to and Reasons for the Practice of Self-Examination
Self-examination is a process that involves reflecting on the ways in which our lives could be more in line with God’s will, repenting for where we have gone astray, and receiving God’s forgiveness. It is living out Psalm 139: “Search me out, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my restless thoughts. Look well whether there be any wickedness in me, and lead me in the way that is everlasting.”
Specifically in the Anglican tradition, this discipline is emphasized as we prepare for the Eucharist. St. Paul first exhorted us in this regard in 1 Corinthians 11:27-29: “Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup.”
The Didache, the earliest manual we have for how a Christian community was supposed to operate (dating likely to the late 1st century), similarly exhorts Christians:
“Assemble on the Lord’s Day, and break bread and offer the Eucharist; but first make confession of your faults, so that your sacrifice may be a pure one. Anyone who has a difference with his fellow is not to take part with you until they have been reconciled so as to avoid any profanation of your sacrifice. For this is the offering of which the Lord has said, ‘Everywhere and always bring me a sacrifice that is undefiled, for I am a great king, says the Lord, and my name is the wonder of nations.’”
Fast forward several centuries to our Book of Common Prayer, and we see not only a time of confession within each Daily Office and Communion service, as you all are already familiar with, but also a section called “The Exhortations” (found on pp. 85-87) which offer encouragement for preparation for Holy Communion. We would encourage you to read all of these, but for the sake of brevity, let’s look at one key part related to the topic of self-examination:
“DEARLY beloved in the Lord, ye who mind to come to the holy Communion of the Body and Blood of our Saviour Christ, must consider how Saint Paul exhorteth all persons diligently to try and examine themselves, before they presume to eat of that Bread, and drink of that Cup. For as the benefit is great, if with a true penitent heart and lively faith we receive that holy Sacrament; so is the danger great, if we receive the same unworthily. Judge therefore yourselves, brethren, that ye be not judged of the Lord; repent you truly for your sins past; have a lively and stedfast faith in Christ our Saviour; amend your lives, and be in perfect charity with all men; so shall ye be meet partakers of those holy mysteries” (pp. 85-86)
A couple clarifying notes are needed. First, let’s remember Paul’s encouragement that “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). These times of reflection and confession are not meant to leave us in condemnation, shame, or excessive guilt. In every confession, God meets us with an abundance of grace and love. His desire is to see us thrive as image-bearers and not to beat us up for our imperfections. So for those who have a tendency towards self-criticism and shame, it is vital to examine yourself in light of God’s love, to hope for the future rather than despair over the past.
Also, there was a time in church history when Paul’s exhortation to not receive the Eucharist “unworthily” led to people being afraid of taking Communion. “What if I’m not perfectly right with all my neighbors? What if I have a habitual sin that is tough to break?” The church was clear in its response to this concern: The Eucharist should not be neglected. The gift of Christ’s body and blood, the real presence of Christ somehow mysteriously working in and through the Sacrament, is a grace that all of us imperfect Christians need. In fact, the third Exhortation on pp. 88-89 of the BCP addresses this point exactly:
“Ye know how grievous and unkind a thing it is, when a man hath prepared a rich feast, decked his table with all kind of provision, so that there lacketh nothing but the guests to sit down; and yet they who are called, without any cause, most unthankfully refuse to come…. I exhort you, as ye love your own salvation, that ye will be partakers of this holy Communion. And as the Son of God did vouchsafe to yield up his soul by death upon the Cross for your salvation; so it is your duty to receive the Communion in remembrance of the sacrifice of his death, as he himself hath commanded”
So then, let us boldly go to the Communion Table as an act of gratitude, obedience, and even sustenance, but let us also take seriously this gift by examining ourselves and repenting beforehand.
Part 2: Using the Ten Commandments as a Guide for Self-Examination
In the Exhortations in the BCP, it instructs us to “examine your lives and conversations by the rule of God’s commandments.” Throughout the centuries, Christians have practiced self-examination by focusing on the Ten Commandments. This would involve a person reading a commandment and reflecting on how to align their life more fully with that commandment. As was said in part 1, our reflections and repentance should all be done in the context of God’s love, grace, and forgiveness. The exercise below draws some from the Anglican Fellowship of Prayer in Canada and some from St. Paul’s Anglican Church in Louisiana.
1. “I am the LORD thy God; Thou shalt have none other gods but me.”
What other gods am I worshipping? Money, power, myself, my rights, my vocation, alcohol or drugs, sensual desires, my family?
2. “Thou shalt not make to thyself any graven image, nor the likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or in the earth beneath, or in the water under the earth; thou shalt not bow down to them, nor worship them.”
What images am I building or worshipping? A comfortable lifestyle, wealth, a nice home, possessions, prestige, reputation, nationalism? Do I do all that I can to promote and support the true worship of God? Have I made an idol in my heart by worshipping a god with whom I can be pleased, rather than the God who is revealed in holy Scripture?
3. “Thou shalt not take the Name of the LORD thy God in vain.”
Do I use the name of God in an irreverent manner? Do I live in such a manner that the name of God is blasphemed or held in contempt because of my actions? Do I fail to perform the promises and vows I have made in the name of God? Since I bear the name of Christ, do I profane his name by hypocritical actions? Do I speak with contempt for God by murmuring and complaining about the wise, providential ordering of my life?
4. “Remember that thou keep holy the Sabbath-day.”
Do I worship God in his Church every Sunday unless providentially hindered? Do I make it a point to work diligently to have all my worldly affairs completed in the other six days in the week so that I might observe the Lord’s Day without distractions? Do I make it a point to enter the house of God with the proper reverence? When in the house of God, do I sing, pray, and listen to the word of God with all my heart and soul? Do I prepare myself and my family for Holy Communion by a remembrance of all the benefits we receive by a worthy reception of it?
5. “Honour thy father and thy mother.”
Do I show respect and reverence toward my parents or in-laws in thought, word, and behavior? Do I listen with respect to the advice and counsel of my parents? Do I ever reveal a spirit of disrespect toward my parents? Do I pray for my parents? Do I do what I can to provide for the needs of my parents when they are in physical, emotional, or spiritual distress? Am I teaching my children to respect their elders? Am I being a good steward of the intangible gifts that have been handed down to me?
6. “Thou shalt do no murder.”
Do I show the proper respect for the lives of others, realizing that they are created in the image of God? Am I guilty of sins, such as envy, hatred, a desire for revenge, unkind thoughts and words toward others? Have I caused others to have hateful or malicious thoughts toward their acquaintances? Do I take care of my own body as the temple of the Holy Spirit so that it might be a fit vessel for the Lord’s use? Do I do what is within my power to preserve the lives of others?
7. “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
Do I commit adultery in my heart through lustful thoughts, desires and looks? Through exposing myself to opportunities for lustful thoughts and actions? Do I help others (especially young people) understand their sexuality? Am I developing an unhealthy relationship with another person? Have I been faithful to my spouse in thought, word, and deed?
8. “Thou shalt not steal.”
Do I honor my vows and contracts? Am I honest in my business dealings with others? Do I rob God by not giving as I am able to the Church for the spreading of His kingdom? Do I give my employer my diligent service so that I am worthy of the wages paid? In my dealings with others, have I been guilty of fraud, falsehood, injustice, extortion, or bribery? Do you I steal from others via careless or over-consumption of food or natural resources?
9. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.”
Have I slandered the good name of my neighbor? Have I concealed the truth when I should have spoken? Have I been guilty of gossip or slander? Have I failed to defend others when wrongly accused?
10. “Thou shalt not covet.”
Have I been guilty of discontent when I look at the prosperity of others? Can I rejoice at the prosperity? Do I ever have a “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality? Am I grateful for and content with what I have?